Sunday, June 13, 2010


Well if you can't tell I have been neglecting my blog, and no it has not been on purpose. I have been busy gathering research. Okay you can insert laughter there because my life has been filled with working six days a week and school in between. I have managed to fill in the gaps with my usual nights out with Heather. Or should I say my nights of debauchery. Oh boy is she a riot...I wish you could meet her in person. She is the girl who would do anything for her friends, she is loud, boisterous, and did I mention entertaining. When Heather has too much to drink she is a repeater, and I mean repeater in the worst way. She introduced me to the same guy at least 4 times last Saturday night, and we already knew each other. She also tried to introduce me to him about half a dozen more times. It is amuzing with a borderline annoyance. She means well, and she is hilarious.

Anyway let me catch you up a little. Last week I went out of town with Heather and some guy that I thought Heather was permantly attached to. Haha We went to catch our favorite local band Surreal. I swear we are becoming groupies, I love these guys, and the new bassist is cute. Heather was permantley attached to her boy part of the night and pissed off at him the other part. I guess that is what happens when you're totally drunk. I would have no idea...totally drunk part yes boy part no. We'll go back to me because we can; this bassist in the band is cute but I do not want him to think I like him too much. He wanted to go back with me last week, and this girl does not play that game. I do not meet a boy and then hook up with him right away. Espesially boys in bars...come on! Although I did meet him two weeks prior but I know nothing about this guy. So I told him that I had to take drunk and drunker home because I was the DD. I also said that I would see him this Saturday when they played again. He had time to ask for my number but did not; so no big deal.

Last night I went out by myself because my partner in crime is on a family vacation. Of course I went to the bar to see my favorite local band, and hang out with my peeps there. I immediatly make eye contact with the bassist,(I really need to give him a name) and we talked for a few, but he was busy. It seemed like he was being pulled in five different directions. He talked to me a few times throughout the night, and he seems a little shy but sweet. At the end of the night before they were done playing I left without saying goodbye or maybe even giving him a chance to get my number. Is that mean does that send mixed signals. I don't want him thinking that I am a bar fly. Haha! I couldn't resist. After all he is just another boy and if it is nothing then nothing has happened between us. I just want a boy to have to work for it damnit!!

Well here is until next time. I will try to keep you up to speed.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Well kiddos I wish I could go out every night of the week so I would have fun stuff to report. I know if I did this girl would be fat because I love me some beer! Oh that sounds good right now. I am so glad that Memorial Day weekend is approaching. That is right the offical start of summer. I am ready to put my bikini on and go to the beach...okay the local lake that has a tiny beach. Reguardless I am ready to make it the best summer ever. I will be celebrating the 5th anniversary of my 25th birthday this summer, and one of my good friends is getting married too. I can't wait for the bachelorette party. I am ready for some hella good times! Oh and the boys we must not forget about them. There is the cute bassist from last weekend that I still have my eye on, and I will have to see what this weekend brings...more boys maybe!

So I have to remember that priority number one is just going out and having the time of my life this summer. I will meet Mr.Right along the way somewhere but why not have lots of fun right now!!

Well I know I kept it short and sweet tonight! Here is to love, life, and oh yeah...the internet.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Just Another Saturday Night!

I am terrribly sorry that I have been neglecting my blog lately. I was really busy trying to finish this horrible Ethics class. I hate college, but then again I don't want to live with my parents forever!

Well this weekend was pretty typical. It was amazingly fun as they usually are. I hung out with my crazy friend Heather. We went to a bar in town to see our favorite local band and Surreal. I had to pick Heather up first at the bar because they had a poker run. I took her home so she could do a quick change. I think she told me that she had been drinking since about noon. That was fantastic! This bar is in the town I work in but I am not from so I do not know a lot of people. Now Heather on the other hand has grown up in this town and knows everyone, and let me tell you she is a great friend to have. If there is a good looking boy standing close she knows everything about him. She can tell me where he works, if he has any kids and how many, this woman probably knows who this boy has been with. It's like my own personal PI, but without the investigating...NICE!!

Okay now back to our night out! It was a definite night of dancing and rocking out to the band as always with one difference. The band has a new bass player and he is cute. Ah oh didn't think I would find a cute boy so soon. No worries he was a working boy and I was a drinking girl...just a little flirting. I know where his band plays and he knows who my friends are we will meet again. I am definitely sure of that, and if not he is just another boy. I don't want to talk about it too much because it could be nothing and I don't want to jinx it.

Well I think that is enough for one evening. I will have the next eventful post for you soon. Until then here is to love, life, happiness, and oh yeah the Internet!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Don't Hate the Player Hate the Game

So I took this weekend off from going out to regroup. I needed to take a breather away from the bar scene and hang out and have a movie night. Plus Heather canceled on me about 6:30 so what else can I do on a Saturday night. I watched some Twilight, and it just reminded me that I will never find that unrequited love that we all long for. Damn you Stephenie Meyer for giving me this scewed view of reality!

So today I was having a conversation with Mandy and she is now talking to two different guys. And all I have to say about that is YOU GO GIRL!!! She gave me a perfect idea. Why not do this it would be perfect find a couple guys to "date" and who knows! (I use that word loosely) The trick is to think like a guy, and I know this is the difficult part but put the emotions aside. This could actually be a lot of fun and that is what I need. It is called keeping our options open. This is what guys do all the time because they cannot make up their minds. You need to keep them at arms reach, and always keep in contact but not too much contact...leave them hanging a little. They do it to us and it seems to work. Do not ever make yourselves too available because then you will be a booty call and that is a definite no no. It is time to turn the tables and take total control, and do I mean total control!

I don't even think those boys will know what hit'em. I think this could be a fun experiment. I think every single girl should put themselves out there and give it a try...think like a man and let them see how it feels. Okay so they probably won't even notice that they are being played. Boys are too oblivious and stuck in their own little world where the sun and moon revolve solely around them to realize what the in the hell is going on. I bet you would feel better; it would be empowering. Try it out, and let me know your outcomes.

Well that is it for tonight I'm out. Here's to love, life, happiness, and oh yeah the internet!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

I am Looking For My Self Esteem

So I didn't go to the party last night it was way too cold and rainy. I went out in my hometown with my girls and saw an 80's cover band called Lipstick. I was expecting a bunch of girls in the band, to my surprise they were dudes...who knew.

I am having a self esteem in the toilet kind of weekend. I am tired of bullshit and I am tired of going out every weekend. I just want a man to magically appear out of thin air. I want babies and happiness. I want to be able to just cuddle on the couch and watch movies. I feel like I am so hideously ugly, and that is why no one wants to be with me. I have been picking myself apart all weekend, and of course I feel so pathetic. I know I just need to suck it up and get on with it. I really shouldn't beat myself up I think the biggest problem is I live in such a small town. Can I just tell you the pickins are slim. If the boys aren't already taken they are broken. I am a firm believer that they're all broken regardless if they are taken or not. The fucking life of a single girl, it's so fucking fantastic!! WOOHOOO!!

I even received some suggestion from friends that I should try some dating websites. I've actually put a little thought into it. (Just a little) I think it is because the boys around here are so abundant. lol If nothing else it would make for some interesting ass stories to tell you; provided I make it out of the date alive. Oh I couldn't resist! I worry about that because I think of internet dating as where the crazy people look for innocent victims to prey on. I know I said that I would only think about it but you never know where Mr. Right is.

Well I must return to the real world..until next time. Here's to love, life, happiness and oh yeah the internet!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Depreesed Single Girl=Broke Single Girl

Okay so Mike went from bad guy, to good guy, and now his ass is back to bad guy. I am so over it! I totally hate when someone ignores me when I call them. You all know what I am talking about because the phone does not ring as many times as it should...ugh! That was about noon today and it's 9pm and he has yet to call me or even sent me a text me. See and yesterday he was all about this girl. I thought about deleting him from facebook, ( I know I'm a fierce bitch) but I would delete him and he would probably have no clue as to why. He is male and therefore clueless.

So to help me get over this asshole like every other asshole I have resulted to some retail therapy. I decided to buy me a new bikini and some new bras for my new boobs. I plan to fully utilize my new purchases to knock some new boys dead!!! I really shouldn't have spent all that money...see buyers remorse is kicking in. Oh well it's too late now. At least I bought things I need, last time I did this I ended up with a new digital camera. I actually owned one but everyone needs two right! I wonder why I can't afford to move out of my parents house. Shopping is seriously like my crack...I wonder if they have meetings for my addiction.

So tomorrow I am suppose to go to a huge party with my crazy friend Heather. I am only going if I get my homework done, and that is priority number 1. So I am hoping to have some fun crazy stories for everyone and a longer blog for you too. Well I'm spent and I mean that literally. Here's to love, life, happiness and oh yeah the Internet!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Miss Asumption....Miss Consumption

Okay so I was definitely way to hard on Mike. He has been way sweet and not so disconnected lately. I even called him "Mr. Disconnected" and he in turn called me "Miss Assumption. He actually has a point. I have to remember that he has kids and a busy job. I just can't assume the worst in people. I can't help it my last two relationships were a disaster and it just turns you into a fighter. So why not talk about them they might be interesting to someone.

I got married when I was 22. We weren't together but a little over a year. I was young and in love. He was young and an alcoholic...see what I mean by disaster. Matt was in the Air Force and was about to deploy. (It was right at the beginning of all this Iraq shit) So we decided to get married before he left for 6 months instead of wait like sane people would do. After he returned all was well he was the same jealous controlling alcoholic that he was when he left, but I still loved him. I was a dumb ass. He actually deployed once more for another 6ish months in our marriage. Those were the most peaceful 6 months I had. There was no one there to pick up after. I didn't have to answer to anyone and I could do what I want.

Matt had control over me and I had no idea. Everyone around me saw the way he treated me but I was oblivious. I wasn't aloud to go out with my friends except the neighbor and that was usually to Wal-Mart. Of course he could do whatever he wanted, which always included getting drunk with his friends. It was also difficult because we were trying to have a baby through this all and he was more worried about getting drunk on his days off than anything else.

When Matt got out of the Air Force is actually when things between us turned really bad. I was trying my best to hold our marriage together, but when someone's favorite thing to tell you is to SHUT THE FUCK UP it makes the home life very difficult. At this time we moved backed to the same town as Matt's family because his mom was very sick and inevitably passed away. This event set him over the edge; he was drinking almost everyday. He would go out and come home really drunk and of course want sex, but I would be asleep. There is nothing like being forced to have sex with your husband when he is holding you down and you're crying. Last time I checked that is still considered rape. It was like being tortured because I knew I would have to look at him the next day. But my dumb ass stayed with him and he even did it to me again. I know I was asking for it. It is the most difficult thing to do; break that hold an abuser has on you. He promised time and time again it would get better and it always did for a short time, but it always went right back. I even remember one time he had a pillow over my face and was laughing as he said, "I could kill you if I wanted to." That was pretty much it, I packed my shit up that night and when he got home from work in the morning I made him put in my Jeep. Of course I came back. It was only for a week that was all it took for him to put his hands on me again. I left his ass while he was sleeping that time and haven't looked back.

It has been rough. I left him and I went through a period where the bottle of vodka was my best least on the weekends. It was the only way that I could see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I was broken and I didn't want to deal with my pain. I still don't like to talk about it. This is actually the first time I have ever talked about it in any kind of detail. If I didn't have my friends there I would not have made it, and if I have not thanked you for your support I want to now!!!

Now the most recent relationship isn't really worth wasting my breath. I just wasted a little over 2 years of my life on the most narcissistic asshole ever. The thing is he really wasn't good looking. He is what you would call on the B team. I thought because he wasn't as good looking as the guys I normally go for he would appreciate me more. Oh boy was I wrong!! I think he lived on his own planet with his crazy ass mother!! I will just refer to him as Douche Bag. I won't change his name or use his real name; I think Douche Bag is fitting.

Okay peeps I've had enough for the night...I'm out! Here's to life, love, happiness, and oh yeah the Internet!!!

Monday, May 3, 2010

The Prereq

Okay as the day went on I felt a bit guilty about bashing Mike. Haha I would've felt guilty, but since I have decided to change the names to protect the not so innocent then it made me smile and chuckle too.
I would like to start off my giving all the parents out there one piece of advice; the only piece of advice I can offer since I am not a parent myself. I am telling you right now teach your children correct grammar usage. Beat it into their skulls, and I don't mean that in a literal sense either. You will understand why I say this if you don't already know for yourselves. Anyway since I've given you a lesson lets have some fun with it.
My favorite part about going to the bars is the people watching; I love watching and subsequently making fun of said people. My second favorite part of going to the bar is the free drinks from the boys. I just want to stamp SUCKER on right on their foreheads. I am not going home with you nor am I giving you my phone number; just keep supplying the free beer BITCHES!!! Was that too harsh? I didn't think so either.
When a boy buys me a beer I am cordial and very considerate because of course I want another beer. I do believe that Mandy, Jenny, and I even had to partake in a couple rounds of pool at the Pub for many free rounds of beer...but ladies I said FREE. I do however have a prerequisite for having a conversation beyond a beer with a boy. This is absolutely huge in my book and should also be important in life. The word ain't is a conversation killer also the words don't and got used in the wrong sir! I go out in between New Castle and Richmond so finding anyone that can fulfill that prereq is almost impossible. When a boy starts talking like (for lack of better word) a redneck all I can think about is my beer and shut the fuck up!! I think if I could find a boy in a bar that could actually strike up and intelligent conversation then I might actually break my rules and give him my phone number...holy shit I am going to die alone!

Well on that note I think I might check out for the now. Here's to love, life happiness and oh yeah the Internet!!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Fly Boy

Oh Yeah I can't help but post again tonight it's on my mind. So on this conquest for love as I like to call it; I have to introduce you all to Mike. Mike is Mr. Responsibility, he has a great job, two kids that he takes care of and was full of promises. haha Fly boy is every woman's dream...a pilot. That is right money making machine, not that I am that way at all. It was just an added bonus. Mike was charming and told a girl what she wanted to hear...just like every other guy! I do believe his exact words were, "what you see is what you get." The most disappointing thing besides the sex and I will get there in a minute was I actually was beginning to like this guy. I told my BF Mandy that he is a male version of me. By that I mean a real smart ass; he could definitely dish it out as well as he could take it. I am a true smart ass I don't try to hide it from anyone. I want a man that can handle it and doesn't get offended.

Anyway back to Mike, he is actually my friend Shannon's ex brother-in-law. She was married to his brother. There are you confused. It doesn't' sound too redneck does it? Mike and I have known each other for a number of years, but never in a close way just in passing at parties and what not. Our relationship started off as a lot of playful texts and phone calls you all know the harmless flirting. We had a lunch date which went really well. I actually bought a new phone and it was the same kind that he has so I went over to his house and he showed me how to use it. Oh ladies that is an easy in but I don't recommend running to the store and buying a new phone. We talked and I ended the night with a ma'am I wasn't giving it up that easy. We even had another date and I went to his house again and still didn't give it up.

Then he was gone for about 4 days and things started getting really flirtatious between us. We were texting as often as we could, we didn't talk on the phone as much as we were texting. Fly boy got home late Sunday night and I went over to his house on Monday evening after I got off work. We talked for a little while joked around. Did I mention we started making out like two kids in high school. Oh yeah this girl was going to get some BOOM BOOM! Sorry the vagina was on hiatus for a couple months so it was exciting. Well as for the sex it was average at best. I wish I had some great details for you but it was your basic sub par fucking I really was in need of some mind blowing sex. Beyond the sub par fucking most of the flirtatious text stopped. We still talk but it's not as often as it was. We were suppose to have a date on Saturday which was cancelled because he was helping his friend move and then had to get up early for his daughter's volleyball tournament the next day. (which he conveniently forgot about)

We can't win if we give it up too early we are "easy" and if we don't give it up then we are "close off." I waited and I still got screwed in the end and wasn't worth it. Oh well there are other boys out there; time to move on to the next one. Here's to life, love, happiness and oh yeah the Internet!

First Time Blogger-Intro

Hello everyone...or no one. I'm a single girl from a small town struggling to find her knight in shining armor. (insert laughter there please) I am 29, and yes I do plan on skipping my 30th birthday. I was married at one time for 4 years, from 22-26. At this point I live with my parents...THANK YOU ECONOMY!!!! I, like many other women are so tired of kissing frogs and oh my god am I so fucking sick of going to the bar every weekend. Yes mom I know I'm never going to meet a good man at the bar. I do have news for her the guys at the bar are not any different than the guys my friends introduce me to. At least the guys in the bars pretty much tell me that they want to fuck me....ugh!! I'm so not that kind of girl I like to make a guy work for it but hell even when you make them work for it they still turn weird. Why are guys such bitches?
I thought now it is time to have fun with these boys. This will give you a chance to meet my friends and the boys as I refer to them in my life in the small town. I hope you enjoy!!